It's a blazing hot day!

Hi again, thanks for visiting.

Whew... we're not used to 90 degree weather here! It feels more like we're living in southern California than on the westcoast of Canada. My home office is on the third floor (heat rises!) and has been untolerable after 3:00 in the afternoon, making it really hard to keep moving with the schooling I'm taking. Thankfully, I'm an early riser so have been taking advantage of the cooler mornings to write. I do hope you're managing alright... it seems most of the continent is under a heat wave. You'd never know it's so hot by the wispiness of the clouds rolling by though... they make it look like it would be oh, so lovely and cool. :)

I was talking with a friend the other day who says that she's bogged down with far too much to do each day and feels that life is passing her by.

We all know what that's like at times, hey.

It seems she's allowed the tasks of work and home life to dissolve the boundaries she used to have that helped keep her in balance. It gave me a chance to offer her a loving reminder that unless she impliments specific work time AND specific play time (totally unhooked from demands!) the world would continue to demand of her.

(I am always amazed at how those around us come to believe us to be super-heros when we're acting like super-heros! How is it they can't see we're burning ourselves out?!?!)

In a way, my friend is her own worst enemy, giving and giving to everyone... except herself that is! The biggest crime I see is that unless she does something differently (and soon!) she'll ultimately have to take serious time off from all of these tasks anyways when her health fails... or her relationship fails, or ? So I asked her, "Why wait until you get sick in order to hear the message that you already knows is before you? You know you need to slow it down and pay attention."

So, what can my friend do to create clearer work / play boundaries and move in a more loving direction for herself?"
(I suggest you check out whether these could apply to you.)

1. She needs to take a realistic look at what she is capable of giving in her work, within reasonable blocks of time. Same is true for her personal commitments.
   
2. Commit a time everyday that is her personal time, even if it is merely 30 minutes!
3. Set aside time every week (for most of us it's the weekend) to enjoy life, get outdoors, see friends and family, etc. Stick to her guns and refuse to work in her personal time.
4. Learn to say "no thanks" more often.
   
5. Set aside time to have a date with her partner once every week. Happy relationships make for a happier and more productive worker.
   
6. She also needs to commit at least 30 minutes every day for exercise, perhaps taking a walk at lunch or in the evening after dinner.
7. Delegate certain tasks to others, so she doesn't have to be the super hero.
8. Hire out some tasks! $100 goes a very long ways when high school students get hired to help with yard and household work.
   

These are simple suggestions and yet so hard for some people to put in action. Why? Our counselling experience tells us that most people who are bending over backwards to accomplish everything under the sun have a propensity to make others more important than themselves. Many have leaky boundaries and don't know how to say no. Many people get an unconscious sense of value from meeting everyone else's adjendas.

What motivates you / drives you beyond reasonable performance? It's a good question to ask yourself if you find that you, like my friend, are not having a life!

Who is REALLY stopping you, other than you???

Make a new choice to do things differently from now on. That's all it is... a choice!

You really DON'T have to get sick in order to slow down and get a life.

Not only that, you deserve it!

Here's to having a life. Warmly, Carolyn